 |
| Sunita Pariyar |
'I Don't Want to be Friend With Non-Dalits'
You may be wondering why such a thing has been written in the 21st century. Has our society changed? Of course, you may abuse me by looking at the title of my article, but before abusing me, you must read my article.
Life is mine, my right too, I have the right to live without fear, violence and discrimination but since the day I got the impression that I am a Dalit, I have been suffering discrimination.
When a non-Dalit classmate of mine says that I don't dance with Damini in school programs, when I sit at school to distribute offerings on the day of Saraswati Puja, when the offer given by my non-Dalit friend's mother falls in front of my eyes and when I go on a picnic from school, I am not allowed to cook.
I am a Dalit, so my non-Dalit friend's mother thought that my education should also be weak. When a non-Dalit friend passed in the second class in SLC, I passed in the first class. My friend's mother didn't talk to me for a year because I passed first class. These are just a few examples.
The main event remains, my best non-Dalit friend got married while reading Plus Two. I was also invited to the wedding. Fear of getting angry with a friend even if you don't go to the wedding, so I went to the wedding. The wedding was in November and it was winter. The wedding took place inside the house. Because I was a Dalit, I was not allowed to enter the house. I called my friend outside and gave him a gift and told him that I would go home. Otherwise, I decided to stay at the wedding but I was alone outside. The wedding was taking place inside the house. I was watching the wedding from the door. At the same time, the wind blew and it rained. Half of my body was soaked with water. And even in that cold November, when I saw my condition like that, no one invited me inside. I did not dare to go home alone at night.
At that time I was very angry with myself, why I was born in a Dalit house. If I had been born as a non-Dalit, I would have been able to stay at home today. The rain stopped for a while but it got colder. Due to the cold, it was a little easier to spend the night as the guests at the wedding near my place lit a fire and that wedding night changed my thinking a lot. After that incident, I was afraid to make non-Dalit friends. And I promised myself that I would not make non-Dalit friends from now on.
A few years ago, when he reached the house of a non-Dalit while searching for a room, he was a professor and his wife was a doctor. When we moved the room together, we told the professor that we were family. Later, his wife found out that we were Dalits. Then, on the morning of her husband's move, a message came saying, 'My wife's relatives are coming, that's why we won't give you a room.' We sat quietly saying that it would be okay if a relative came, but as we understood, the room was empty for 3 months and after 3 months, not his relatives, but other non-Dalits had come and stayed. From this, we can clearly understand the effect of caste system on educated people like doctors and professors.
Similarly, a few months ago, when I went to a discussion program on the situation of Dalit women, I introduced myself as Sunita Pariyar, a non-Dalit sir who sat next to me, are you Pariyar (Dalit)? But instead of looking like a Dalit, did I even think that a Dalit is a person of a different caste? Listening to his thoughts, I also felt pity. I felt pity for him because it was clear how insulting the anti-Dalit mentality was.
Even now, the attitude of the non-Dalit youth towards Dalits has not changed. A non-Dalit friend of my age has asked for only 3 Dalits in the current public service. So don't open the form, your name won't come out! Thinking of a non-Dalit friend. I am a Dalit and the cruel mentality that Dalits can only make a name out of the Dalit quota and cannot compete openly can be clearly seen.
The social culture and attitudes that have been entrenched for centuries on the basis of caste have not changed in the younger generation. The above incidents are not imaginary, they are my experiences of being a Dalit in my life. These incidents are the main ones, there are many other such incidents. Other Dalit comrades like me may have suffered a lot of discrimination and injustice, more so than me who may not have made non-Dalit comrades due to the reasons for the incident.
In the course of these events, no matter how much I have suffered mental stress, pain will be a part of it, Nepal's caste system, caste system, Manu Smriti, ethnic structure of society or your behavior? Adopting time and change is certainly not a crime. I have given only words to the voices of the accused. This subject is certainly not simple and easy. In Nepal, where Hindu society is predominant, being a Dalit has left a deep imprint on the mind from childhood onwards. That impression is certainly not erased by the word 'sari' of non-Dalit friends. One day a bodily injury may be healed, but an insult and a reputation injury will never be healed. I am always stung by inferiority complex, I feel like a second class citizen, but the new generation will not have to suffer the same discrimination as I did.
To protect the right of every person to equality, liberty and dignity by creating a situation of untouchability and non-discrimination on the basis of customs, traditions, religion, caste, caste, community and profession by assimilating the principle of equal rights and human dignity in the Constitution of Nepal. The constitution stipulates that discriminatory acts should be made punishable and an egalitarian society should be built.
Even in the constitution, the behavior is just the opposite. Leaving aside the right to live with dignity, here even if you marry a person you like, you are sentenced to death. Therefore, policies, rules and laws are not limited to the constitution, in practice the Dalit Bill should be made and implemented, and the victims should be brought to justice and the perpetrators should be punished. And only an egalitarian society is built. The Dalits accept the atrocities against them, including caste systemic untouchability. He is untouchable, but from the point at which he begins to rebel or struggle mentally and physically against the caste systemic oppression against him, he is transformed into an untouchable Dalit.
Therefore, Dalit identity is an image of a struggling human being. (Sacrifice) Therefore, you will continue to suffer as long as you do not rebel against discrimination and injustice. Despite the existence of constitution, law, policy, act, Dalit movement, Dalit bill and law, Angira Pasi, Nawaraj BK, Ajit Mijar etc. have lost their lives on the basis of caste. If we remain silent now, it will be our fault. That is why change is possible, it is in our hands. It is not for you but for the new generation to come, it is necessary to bring change for the new Ajit Mijar and Nawaraj BK who truly love.
Overall, I said the reason for not making non-Dalit friends, but if you want to make Dalit friends, forgetting the caste system, as a human being, non-Dalit friends will definitely play an important role in changing my thinking.